These Blogs...

Writing a blog every week is much harder for me than it really should be. Not because it is hard to do, but I can never think of a single thing to write about! I am normally the last person to complain about anything, but I am only writing this because I cannot think of anything to write about. Yes, our readings are interesting, and the discussions on them in class are even more interesting. This is probably my favorite English class that I have ever had. So why can't I write about those things? Well simply because, what can I offer up about a story that I have read, that we hadn't already covered in class, or that someone else had already written about. Unless I just go on about obvious, pointless things that everyone already knows, and then I feel like I am just rambling and wasting my time. I feel like if  I had a solid topic to write about each week that I felt strongly about, I would love this. Unfortunately, that is not the case. I am not in any way suggesting that we should discontinue the blogs, just expressing the frustration I feel every Wednesday night that I sit down to write a blog and end up staring at my computer screen blankly for like 30 minutes, and coming up with nothing. But I do love the class, no complaints about that. That is all.

Hills Like White Elephants

This story, as I was reading it, made no sense to me what so ever. It just seemed completely random and pointless and I didn't get why I was reading it, or how it was beneficial in any way. I did look back into the story to see if I could figure it out, and still nothing came to me. That is why I found today's class lesson about it so interesting. It showed me to look into a story in a way that I never have before, finding symbolism in things that would typically be overlooked, and making connections to things that I would have usually not even thought twice about.

I have no doubts that if I come across a story like this again, that I will be able to figure out what it is really about, or at least give it a better guess than being completely clueless. Although I feel like if we weren't told that the story was about abortion all along, than we would have been able to pull out different topics, and back it up with the same evidence, just tying another meaning to it. for instance, with someones idea of it being about a breast surgery, if it were a breast reduction, it could be described through the part about an operation, and the part where they say "once they take it away, you never get it back". If you were to back up as them talking about marriage, they could be talking about an operation but metaphorically, about it being the only thing making them unhappy (maybe they have been together so long but never got married so it felt like their relationship wasn't going anywhere, OR maybe they are a religious couple and are saving themselves for marriage.), maybe they are having commitment issues and that is why they said "once they take it away, you never get it back", referring to their freedom. they were discussing about being able to have everything, while the other said they could not. maybe one thinks everything is when they are together but not apart, and the other thinks you have everything when you are seperate. There are just so many possibilities, but once you know what it really is, it all makes sense.

Some Things Never Change

So I have basically missed the past 3 classes in a row. While many students like to miss school, have a free day to do what they like, I hate missing school. I don't feel like that little extra bit of time out of school is worth all of the hours of makeup work, getting behind in class, and not being caught up on tests. One class, fine, that happens. But three classes, it begins to get a little overwhelming.

It seems like every year I have countless tardies and absences, I am always needing to leave miss school for one reason or another and I'm pretty sick of it. I have a very busy life, I live on my own, pay all my bills, work 30+ hours a week, and steadily maintain Crossfit. There is nearly no time for homework, none the less with the added responsibility of make up work. With my busy schedule it is easy to see why I am out of school so much. Sometimes I just have to do what I have to do in order to support myself and come up with the money I need to pay my bills, along with the responsibility of caring got my younger sister. So I need to miss school for her needs many times as well.

Every year My absences have causing me to fall behind in at least one class. I see this happening in this class and I am trying my very hardest to keep that from happening this year, and to keep this year from being like all of my others.

College

I know that this has little to do with English specifically, but it is a big topic in my life right now and the only thing that I could think to blog about. After all, it is school related. Before this year college was just something that I automatically assumed I would do and didn't think anything else about it. It was always one of those things that I would deal with when the time came. Well the time is here, and it hit me with a brick. Suddenly I am doing internships to figure out what it is I want to do in my life, I am researching schools, trying to find scholarships, applying at schools, studying to get my test scores up, and it is all just very overwhelming. 

I would have never imagined how hard it actually is to apply for college. There is a lot more work involved rather than just simply filling out an application and being on with your way (which is how I assumed it to be). Not only is the process of applying for the school difficult, but you have all the research for scholarships and trying to apply for as many of those as you can. Which always leads to the real stresser... Tuition. I'm sure I am not the only one who has to pay for college completely on my own, but right now I just don't see how it is possible. Even if I were to play it safe and live at home and go to BCTC, the cost is still far more than I can afford. I know that realistically I will have to take out students loans to help me pay, but thinking about doing that, and having to pay them off my entire life just makes me cringe. 

Today I went on a college visit with my EBCE class to UK. It put a lot of things into perspective for me, and it made everything that much real. I really liked it there and I would love to go to a school that I would like to go to and live on campus to get the whole college experience, but I know that getting into college with my pay only, makes this more and more far fetched. It is just a little disappointing for me, and doesn't really seem fair, especially considering that college is pretty much necessary these days. It has put a lot of stress on me. But okay, I am done going on my rant about college, and hopefully everything will turn out just fine.